Cons
Sorry, for me, is a very crucial word. Once you say it you can never have it back. You say it when you mean it. Or should I say, mean it when you say it. Back to the days when I was a little child, I used to say sorry to my mom after every little mistake I've done. Until once she told me that I only say sorry when I won't be doing the same mistake again. It's her I got the belief that sorry is useless when you'll make the same mistake again, from.
Apparently, my boyfriend keeps on saying sorry whenever I confide my disappointments about him. Sometimes, you'll just get to think of being tired hearing his apologies. One single mistake and he'll seem to be apologetic to his knees. But then again, everything will just be the same.
Jolo's the type of guy who'll give everything to me, as in literally EVERYTHING. He'll give whatever I may ask. Cakes, Ice cream, chocolates, etc. All the material thing there is. Maybe. He'll go wherever I wanted us to go. As if he's sired to me like Elena is to Damon. At least the sire bond could be broken. Not that I wish he'll change. Just that sometimes, I feel like everything in our relationship is all about me. I should always decide on this and work on that just because that's what I wanted. How about him? He just obeys and follows. Well I thought he's smart to make decisions. But when it comes to us, it's always me who decides. It's always me who works for something I've decided upon because it's me who want it. Not an effort from him, except for the expenses. Oh well, I knew it very well how he wanted things to be that way: somebody will work for and have everything settled while he just finances. That's how he do during his term. And I just feel like he's applying that to me. One of which, I started hating about him. I know he's doing it all for me. But hey, don't you think that's too much of a too much?
It stresses me out to think of it. I've been telling him a lot of times about it and he's just like he's so apologetic for not meeting my expectations. Not that I am dictating what he should do. It's just that I often get tired of working all alone for the relationship. I'm not being childish. I just don't want the typical relationship where in you just stare at each not saying a word other that I love you. I don't want a boring relationship. I want to keep on trying something new. It adds up something to the relationship and it helps us know each other more.
Certainly, that makes me realize how different we are from one another. He's the mature and serious type while I'm totally not. And I'm working for it. I just don;t know if he realizes that or even want to think about it. To him, what's important is out togetherness. To me, it's beyond our being together. And I'm really not sure if he's giving importance to my views. Sometimes, I feel like he's not. So sorry for myself.
I just hope that one day I'm most fearful of will never come - that one day I'll wake up not wanting to hold on to all of these anymore. I don't want that day to come when I can no longer accept his apologies. They say be careful what you wish for, but I definitely want him to be more sensitive. I wouldn't want to get married with uncertainties. I don't want an everyday fight. Most of all, I don't want anything a little similar to my in-laws.
Apparently, my boyfriend keeps on saying sorry whenever I confide my disappointments about him. Sometimes, you'll just get to think of being tired hearing his apologies. One single mistake and he'll seem to be apologetic to his knees. But then again, everything will just be the same.
Jolo's the type of guy who'll give everything to me, as in literally EVERYTHING. He'll give whatever I may ask. Cakes, Ice cream, chocolates, etc. All the material thing there is. Maybe. He'll go wherever I wanted us to go. As if he's sired to me like Elena is to Damon. At least the sire bond could be broken. Not that I wish he'll change. Just that sometimes, I feel like everything in our relationship is all about me. I should always decide on this and work on that just because that's what I wanted. How about him? He just obeys and follows. Well I thought he's smart to make decisions. But when it comes to us, it's always me who decides. It's always me who works for something I've decided upon because it's me who want it. Not an effort from him, except for the expenses. Oh well, I knew it very well how he wanted things to be that way: somebody will work for and have everything settled while he just finances. That's how he do during his term. And I just feel like he's applying that to me. One of which, I started hating about him. I know he's doing it all for me. But hey, don't you think that's too much of a too much?
It stresses me out to think of it. I've been telling him a lot of times about it and he's just like he's so apologetic for not meeting my expectations. Not that I am dictating what he should do. It's just that I often get tired of working all alone for the relationship. I'm not being childish. I just don't want the typical relationship where in you just stare at each not saying a word other that I love you. I don't want a boring relationship. I want to keep on trying something new. It adds up something to the relationship and it helps us know each other more.
Certainly, that makes me realize how different we are from one another. He's the mature and serious type while I'm totally not. And I'm working for it. I just don;t know if he realizes that or even want to think about it. To him, what's important is out togetherness. To me, it's beyond our being together. And I'm really not sure if he's giving importance to my views. Sometimes, I feel like he's not. So sorry for myself.
I just hope that one day I'm most fearful of will never come - that one day I'll wake up not wanting to hold on to all of these anymore. I don't want that day to come when I can no longer accept his apologies. They say be careful what you wish for, but I definitely want him to be more sensitive. I wouldn't want to get married with uncertainties. I don't want an everyday fight. Most of all, I don't want anything a little similar to my in-laws.
- ymhej -
10.02.2013
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