Falling In and Out of Love.

Just this morning, my eyes twinkled upon seeing my man's post on my wall:

It's unusual that he writes something on my wall. Maybe that's why I feel so overwhelm everytime he does. /kiligmuch!

We've been together for more than three years now. In that three years, I may say we have been through a lot of good and bad times. We both experienced failing and losing, but I guess it's togetherness that helps us stand up again, holding hands. Yes, we do have these big fights at times but that's healthy. We do have these little misunderstandings as well that spice up the relationship. 

Few hours ago, as I'm checking my Facebook account, I saw these pictures of a guy, who happens to be a friend of mine's boyfriend, now her ex-boyfriend, with another girl. For several days now, I'm seeing Jenn's posts on Facebook that confuses me on their relationship status. I do not have any idea on what's going on between the two of them, not until I saw the pictures. Now, its clear to me why I am seeing those posts. I don't know the whole story. I'm having these speculations on my mind, though. Just one thing's sure: there's no more 'them'. Sad. But true. 

I'm being honest. I am a fan of the couple. Their story is interesting for a person who doesn't believe in long distance relationship. They lasted for more than a year being apart -- Jenn in davao while Pao works here in Manila. If you've only seen how their sweetness over-crossed the oceans and seas. And not to mention, how the guy takes an extra effort to visit Jenn in Davao. It may be shallow, but yeah, for me, it's an extra effort and a plus factor at the same time! Apparently, their relationship may not be that strong enough to endure the distance more. The year may have just begun, but their relationship already ended. I find it hard and painful for my friend, to have the guy introduced in your hometown and been welcomed and accepted warmly by your family members, only to find out in the end that he's not worth it. Even hurtful, he found love and shared it with another person while the other don't see him. 

I'm clueless on why I am writing this down. And I don't know why obviously I'm affected. Is it because I am a woman and I hate to be deceived (of course!) specially of a guy? Or.. Because I have a personal experience of the guy falling out of love? When I was in highschool, I met this guy whom I thought deserves to be the first man who'd have my heart. Only to find out in the end that he's not the right person to be trusted. We had the relationship for only two months. For an unclear reason, he became very cold to me until one day I decided to let go. A month later, I found him and a 'kabarkada' dating. Painful. and yes, it sucks. The first man whom I entrusted my heart to. The first man who broke my heart and tore me apart. First, and, now I could say, young love. Not that I can't get over it until now. Just that it's the kind of wound that gets re-opened whenever I think of it. It's been..I think, it was even a decade ago. But my first heartache's just unforgettable. It gets healed but leaves a scar. I just never thought a guy could ever fall out of love that fast and easy. Now I become a man-finding-it-easy-to-leave-the-girl-behind hater. And maybe that's the reason why I hate it when my boyfriend gets close to other girls no matter how he proves my suspicions wrong. I don't want the same thing happen to me again. I don't want him to see other girls, find them better than me and then just leave me behind. 

Still, we cannot say who is for the right person or what is the right kind for whom. As they say, we are meeting the wrong person to be prepared for the coming of the right ones. So that when they arrived, we know what to do when and how to handle things better. My only advise is not to give your all and everything. Always leave something for yourself so that when the day comes to let him go, there's something left for your own self. And most of all, love your partner, but love yourself even more. At the end of the day, nobody will ever give you the love you needed but only yourself.

I am not a perfect girlfriend, nor will be a perfect wife in the future. I even don't believe in the highest power of marriage as of these days after hearing plenty of marriage failure stories. I wasn't a best adviser though that's how they see me during high school, I'm not a love guru. I may have long time relationships, but I still haven't gone through the most difficult situation you may imagine a girlfriend will go through. I am not a palm reader, or a fortune and 'future' teller. I am not as strong as you may thought. 

But I am the kind of woman you'll never ever meet again. ♥ So don't break my heart or you'll wake up one day regretting the day you let me go. ☺

Take care of a woman's heart and it will give you the utmost care you will ever need in your whole life. 

Till next blog!