The day before my father died, there was a white butterfly flying around our facade. I can clearly remember how we almost bumped into each other as I open the door. Naalala ko pang tinanong ko siya "sino ka?" I though maybe there was someone na gustong magparamdam saken o merong namatay na kailangan ko ng alalahanin. Although the only departed that I remember was my lola, my mom's mom, who's not really close to me. Then I asked again "o sinusundo na ba ako ni Lord? Uy wag ha! May Jhia pa ako." I thought to myself.
The next day, Papa didn't wake up anymore.
Hindi naman ako paniwalain sa mga ganyan. Pero as it came to me..
Sana hindi ko inenetertain yung paru paro.
Sana pinalayo ko nalang.
Sana sinabi ko nalang na iba nalang ang sunduin niya.
When does a premonition become a premonition?
You'll never realize it is a premonition until someone dies. Yung mga unusual gestures na akala mo nakakapanibago lang o hindi mo marealize na unusual pala talaga hanggang sa mawala sila. Hindi mo maiisip na nagpaparamdam na pala siya na yun na ang huli hanggang sa mawala siya. Yung inakala mong nag jojoke lang siya pagpapahiwatig na pala yun at totoo pala yun.
Sabi nila, malamang alam na niya kaya niya sinabi yung mga pahiwatig niya o ginawa yung mga ginawa niya. Talaga bang alam na natin kung kelan tayo mawawala kahit na ganung biglaan?
I still have so many questions. I still have so many things I don't understand. Even the fact that he's gone, hindi ko padin maabsorb. The only thing I understand is that he's at peace now even though I still can't accept it.
The next day, Papa didn't wake up anymore.
Hindi naman ako paniwalain sa mga ganyan. Pero as it came to me..
Sana hindi ko inenetertain yung paru paro.
Sana pinalayo ko nalang.
Sana sinabi ko nalang na iba nalang ang sunduin niya.
When does a premonition become a premonition?
You'll never realize it is a premonition until someone dies. Yung mga unusual gestures na akala mo nakakapanibago lang o hindi mo marealize na unusual pala talaga hanggang sa mawala sila. Hindi mo maiisip na nagpaparamdam na pala siya na yun na ang huli hanggang sa mawala siya. Yung inakala mong nag jojoke lang siya pagpapahiwatig na pala yun at totoo pala yun.
Sabi nila, malamang alam na niya kaya niya sinabi yung mga pahiwatig niya o ginawa yung mga ginawa niya. Talaga bang alam na natin kung kelan tayo mawawala kahit na ganung biglaan?
I still have so many questions. I still have so many things I don't understand. Even the fact that he's gone, hindi ko padin maabsorb. The only thing I understand is that he's at peace now even though I still can't accept it.
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