NOW

“Now is all I know, Now is all I got
And I don’t know if there will be tomorrow for us.”

You know the song reminds me of how we started. I remember hearing this song for the first time, he was the one who instantly came into my mind. Why? I honestly don’t know. Maybe during that time I have already fallen in love with him? Hmm..

He’s not the first guy I fell in love with but he’s the first man who had my heart. Get it?

Well, Prince and I were officially introduced during my first LTS as a part of the Student Council. Though we were classmates the previous year in PE, I never really got the chance to know him. I only got to notice him ‘coz he was a little nerdy weirdy then. He always had this book as thick as an encyclopedia covering words that start with all the letters of the alphabet. He seemed so quiet then and a bookworm. That’s just how I see him during my first year in UE, he was in his 2^nd year.

A year later, we met again through this Leadership Training Seminar I involved myself in. He was in his 2^nd term as an officer while I am a newbie and everybody then was a complete stranger to me. There were a lot of seminars and activities as well. Surprisingly, we belonged to the same commission. We had so many group activities but I never really known him until the amazing race part. He’s the leader of the team. There’s this part where in we need to cross over a spider web and one of our member who’s a little big and healthy is very scared, and he did really amazing in helping her cross the spider web chuchu. Since then I got a crush on him. LOLs.

Then everything came next. There was the exchanging of messages through group messages (GM). I remember after his first GM, since his number wasn’t registered, I asked who it was. He answered through a joke: ‘yung gwapo. Di joke lang, si Bon to.’ *ahem*so we exchanged messages though he seldom sends GMs. Until what I thought was GM became a text exclusively sent to me. There were reminders not to skip meals, asking how my day was or where I’ve been. I remember his birthday, he said to me: ‘masaya yung birthday ko ngayon dahil sa ‘yo’. To tell you honestly, I wasn’t sure then if he’s courting me that way or he’s just flirting with me or he’s just trying to be a kuya figure. But to me? I’m on my denial stage of falling in love with him. That time I was still not really sure and I still haven’t recovered from a heartache but yes, he’s making me smile, he’s making things light. One time he saw me crying and his text was: ‘problema lang ‘yan. Ang importante, kaya mong i-handle’.

How can I also forget what’s written on his Friendster account:

LOOKING FOR: Someone na aalagaan ako, iintindihin ung busy kong schedule, magiging   mapagpasensya saken

And you know what my answer is while reading that?

“hmmm, maalaga naman ako. Maintindihin naman ako.” :D

“There’s a reason why we are together now. We don’t know if this is forever. There’s a reason why we are together now. And we don’t care if it’s not forever now.”

We’re still not together when I first heard the song but I already thought of him being the man who takes care of me, who reminds me not to skip meals, who greets me every morning and says ‘ingat’ when going home even through text; who pick up my broken pieces and carefully glue them all together.  

Look at us now. We’re inseparable, we do things together, and we go to places together. And yes, we make our dreams come true and we do it still TOGETHER. It’s been five years since that LTS and exchanging of messages slash getting to know each other part and that Friendster post. And it’s been five years and he’s still the same and the only person I thought of when I hear the song. There was really a reason why we met five years ago. And whether we are sure or not about forever then, here we are, we’re on our way!

We’ve gone through a lot of things – we argue, shout at each other, walk out; we missed spending the day together on our monthsaries, we debate, we fight. But we talk, compromise, kiss and make up. We were completely different individuals, but we learned to settle and become a lovely pair. We had our own moments and friends but we also find something in common. He’s matured, I ‘m childish. I laugh when he’s serious. I make face when he’s irritating. I do things to get his attention. He’s submissive. He’s patient. He’s suplado and I hate it. But we have learned and continuously learning each other’s way. And life may change our ways in the future, I think we will still learn to compromise. 

In less than a year, we may be bidding goodbye to the life we got used to. But it signifies taking another step in the relationship.

Yung ‘now’ noon, it stayed the same.. it’s still ‘now’ hanggang ngayon. I guess the only difference is that before medyo hindi pa 100% sure. ‘yung ngayon kase, eto na. We’re really on our way to forever.

Sorry to say, we are ending our relationship as girlfriend and boyfriend. Because soon, I’ll be carrying his last name and we’ll be called a married couple. That’ll be another ‘now’ in the future. J

-ymhej-

10.22.2013